


Dancing on Tabletops

by BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author is dyslexic, Author is unreliable, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Komori is a chaos magnet, M/M, Miya Atsumu is a Tease, Not Beta Read, Sakusa Kiyoomi is Bad at Feelings, Why Did I Write This?, he is a baby dou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-27 12:08:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs/pseuds/BrainEmpty_onlySakusaPecs
Summary: It started with a party and there's that hot blonde. Kiyoomi wants to flip everything and chooses violence. Komori wakes up everyday and chooses to play cupid.Sakuatsu college AU that no one asked for but me.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Why am I here?

**Author's Note:**

> /slams hands on table/  
> To whoever is reading this, I love ya. I don't know why yer readin this but thanks. School is shit so I cope with this.

Remind me why I'm friends with you?" sighing, Kiyoomi downs the rest of his fruity alcoholic drink. Having been in the same spot on a ratty faded lovers couch with mysterious white stains on the seat covers of a frat house they're wasting their Saturday night away in, is irksome and vexing to one Sakusa Kiyoomi.

"I'm your cousin, Kiyo." with his hands on the glass table and legs up in the air, doing a keg stand like an idiot that he is, Motoya side eyes Kiyoomi.

Sitting beside him with his hands folded on his lap, "I don't really think you have a choice here, Kiyoomi-san." Akaashi adjusts his glasses, looking at Kiyoomi before setting his eyes on a mop of black and white hair in the distant. He sighs, "Would you rather this," making a circular motion of his hand, then a small smile creeps up to his features, "or that?" and as if on cue, a glass being shattered and a series of 'oya oya' could be heard from the kitchen of the frat house.

"I am so blessed to be in your presence." Kiyoomi deadpans.

The new semester just rolled in, every house around the block is filled with sweaty drunk college students. Gross.

"But you're in a frat house with sweaty drunk college students, Kiyoomi-kun" Kiyoomi turns his head to Ushijima, his blockmate. He ignores the snorts from Komori who finally got off the table to sit between him and Akaashi.

Scrunching his nose, he grimaces. He would definitely rather be in their shared dorm, thank you very much. But much to Kiyoomi's dismay, he already declined four of his cousin's invites for the past weeks, holing up in their room with only unholy amounts of caffeine and two bags of instant ramen cups. He was due with going out with his cousin and dorm mates because apparently that's not living Kiyo! Enjoy the last days of your youth before you get tied to paying bill after bill and taxes. Ugh taxes. Get up you virgin, we're going out tonight or so help me I will hire strippers from White chicks to go here and abduct you.

In fear of Motoya and a reenactment of 'the accident™', Sakusa Kiyoomi, medical technology major, is sitting on a weathered couch with mystery stains in his cousin's blockmate's house filled with sweat drenched 'I-will-regret-this-tomorrow' level drunk college students, with a red paper cup in his hand, pink fruity drink long gone.

Standing up, he murmurs the word water to the chatting bodies around him before he disappears into the hallway leading to the kitchen. He ducks and maneuvers swiftly through the mess of bodies. There was a bald guy carrying a smaller guy with dyed bangs on his shoulder racing against a guy with crazy bed hair and the guy, Bokuto i think? to the pool outside with a huge glass bowl over their heads. Why? Kiyoomi doesn't know. He just wants water. He passes a few more people, some talking at the corner, others sucking face in the middle of the fucking path, some are dancing to Oikawa's rendition to "Do you wanna build a snowman" and its all ridiculous but Kiyoomi's also drunk so who is he to judge?

Entering the kitchen is a different kind of chaotic war zone. Some green haired freckled dude is passed out in, literally IN the sink. Kiyoomi winces at the thought of the armies of bacteria and all the other questionable things that crawl on its surface. He walks faster and heads to the cupboards, hoping to find another cup. Well when Yachi slapped his cup out of his hand and landed atop the tower of used cups on what he assumes is the dining table or what remains of it. And the people surrounding the stack erupt in cheers and hoots. He needed a new cup. He goes around the counter to the cabinets near the sink person, carefully avoiding his legs that were dangling over the sink. Kiyoomi nears his target when he hears another crash from outside where the pool is and shouts of something like "the Miya twins jumped off the roof! Oh my god". Kiyoomi's need to get the FUCK out of there moves a level higher and stronger than before. He opens and closes cabinets, he needs water to saturate his desert of a throat. A cold glass of water would sober him up enough to go back to their dorm.

He's down to the last two cabinets, crouching down he opens the light cedar cabinet. Two solid seconds pass, and there's a human sized tangerine there. Passed out. He closes the cabinet, questioning for the nth time that night, why did I have to go to this party? Scenes from the accident™ surface his memories, shaking his head he opens the next cabinet and fishes out a whole plastic of clean cups. After drinking his own, he returns to the couch and hands Akaashi a cup.

"I'm going home." He looks at Akaashi, his head and throat feeling better from the wash of cold water he drank.

After Akaashi thanks him for the water, he hands Kiyoomi his brown knit-sweater neatly folded beside him. "Komori-san is in the front yard. And I think I should look for Bokuto-san as well." Standing up, "before another table breaks." they share a small chuckle before parting ways after another wave goodbye. 

Kiyoomi leaves the front door to the yard where he hopes to find his cousin from the groups of people around a poorly made camp fire, branches scattered widely and loosely. It's a health hazard. Then again, everything about this place is a health hazard. He scrunches his nose and proceed to look for his pain in the ass cousin. 

He doesn't see Komori but he sees the blonde guy with piercings that Komori said was his blockmate. He stuffs his hands deeper in his pockets and walks towards the blonde. The blo-Terushima, apparently saw Komori at the back where the pool was with Kuroo, the twins, and some other guys, all drunk as "Jose Cuervo" level drunk, whatever that means. He goes around the house from outside and spots his cousin. On an egg pool floatie. Kiyoomi turns on his heel, ready to go home and thinks about disowning his name and all his connections to Komori. 

"KIYO!" _what the fuck?_ He flinches and stays dead in his tracks, slowly turning his head to the bane of his college life. "EVERYONE THAT'S MY COUSIN!" Komori announces through a wireless mic and probably to the whole neighborhood. Everyone was looking at him. "I LOVE YOU COUZ!" he hiccups to the mic. The deep flush all over his face and ears tells Kiyoomi this wasn't going to be easy. "KIYOOOO" he whines and sniffles into the mic.

_Is-is he crying?_ Kiyoomi knows his cousin is a force incontrollable and unfuckable when drunk. And very very emotional. He remembers the last party they attended. When it was time to go home, he saw his cousin screaming at his charger for 'entering' the socket because it didn't ask for the socket's consent then the next thing Komori is wailing like a four month old infant because-the socket looks so sad Kiyoomi! Look at her! **Her?** HER NAME'S AMANDA! hOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW AMANDA?! It's okay Amanda, Kiyoomi doesn't know shit. Don't be sad baby, let me give you a kiss. **Motoya nO-** And so Kiyoomi spent thirty minutes trying to pull Komori away from 'Amanda'. And the next thirty downing another bottle of cheap alcohol.

"Motoya" Kiyoomi says evenly, cautiously eyeing his cousin.

"MY BABY COUSIN! I COULD HUG YOU RIGHT NOW." he cries into the mic, ending with a high crack of his voice, sending everyone in the five meter radius into temporary deafness. Then he starts again, "BUT DON'T TOUCH HIM! I WILL-" he another hiccup through the speakers, "END YOHO." 

Twenty minutes and a lot of bargaining later, he has a sleeping Komori over his shoulder and egg floatie in his hand. Another blonde approaches him, a eyes heavy and clothes sticking to his body, clearly wet. His hair soaked yet slicked back. His white shirt left little to no imagination on what's under it, the material clings snugly around toned muscle underneath. He stirs from his daze. He looks up to the ho- the blonde, who wears a smug grin. 

Kiyoomi clears his throat and extends his arm, he motions the floatie in his hand. "Is this egg yours?" -and he wants to hit himself with a brick. What? WHy? How could he word that out like that? This is it, I want to fucking die, let the heavens welcome me and the ground eat me.

The blonde chuckles and takes the floatie, his face is red, clearly drunk. "Thanks for givin me my fried eggs back" then he looks up at Kiyoomi, his eyes glazed. "But I prefer them fertilized." And he honest to goodness winks at him.

Kiyoomi chokes. He chokes on air because what the **_fuck_**?! 


	2. About that...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiyoomi blinks a few times, processing his words. He looks back to the guy at the window and he just looks back at Kiyoomi with a smirk. "What?" he asks dumbly. 
> 
> "My brother, that 161.5 pounds of drunk asshole in yer arms?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! This chapter is, a mess. Just like my life. I sincerely apologize for the inconsistencies and mistakes, please let me know in the comments. But please me gentle, am fragile. Also, I have yet to discover my writing style. I think like, what better way to look for my style than to keep writing? Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

There are many things that college brings you. Insomnia, caffeine addiction, a lower tolerance for people's bullshit, and a lot of drunken mistakes. You name it, college might be one of the most memorable years of some people's lives with the different memories and experiences it brings to a miserable soul. Kiyoomi is one of those unfortunate souls. Though most of the drunken mistakes come from his friends and he's just there to die from second hand embarrassment. Aside from the accident™, this in all of the college parties Kiyoomi's been to, and its still quite a lot, is second to the most mortifying thing that's happened to him. And mind you, he's seen all his friends and colleagues do embarrassing shit. He's friends with Oikawa so that's a lot.

The raven is entirely certain his whole face is red, from the high of his cheekbones to the tip of his ears, down his neck. Being as pale as a Edward Cullen from twilight does him no good, he knows for sure nothing can hide the blush on him. But the person in front of him is drunk, he couldn't have noticed, right? Right. The blonde in front of him, the reason why he feels like dying as of the current situation he's fixed upon. Because did he- hE SAID HE WANTED HIS WHAT? He wanted his eggs fertilized. Yeah, ok. This isn't some Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics tag on AO3. Okay, that's-that is, Kiyoomi doesn't know nor would he want to get anymore involved in this, however his body betrays him again. He doesn't move and sprint like his life depended on him, hauling Komori over his shoulder to their dorms, he doesn't do that. He instead, stays there, planted on the spot, his cousin falls from his grip, face planting on the very good grass with a thud and a small grunt, he doesn't make a move to get Komori, he stays in the little game of a staring contest with the blonde. And Kiyoomi isn't one to back down from a challenge.

He feels his chest tighten when the man walks towards him, walking over Komori. Honey golden eyes glint with mischief and something Kiyoomi's unfamiliar with, he can't look away. He falls into a world where nothing exists except for those eyes, nothing but gold. Kiyoomi wakes up from his daze only to see the blonde a few inches from his face, his breath ghosting his lips. "You" Kiyoomi's eyes widen, what did he do? He was about to open his mouth when the blonde speaks up again. "'m gonna date ya." Then he passes out, falling into Sakusa's arms. 

Again, what the **_fuck_**?!

Taking a deep breath, he lets his eyes wonder on the man in his arms. He's wearing a black hoodie under a denim jacket and dark skinny jeans. His hair is mussed, bleached hair looking softer under the moonlight and faint lighting coming from the house. He shifts his position of the guy in his arms, adjusting him to get a better look on his face. He has a sharp jawline, his face is flushed with pink, probably from the alcohol. His eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks where constellations of freckles bloom, faint enough only to be noticeable in this close of a proximity. His free hand hovers above the beautiful stranger's cheeks, his eyes drift to plump pink lips, parted slightly. He swallows thickly, with his shaky free hand, he slowly nears his hand to the guy's face.

"There's Tsumu." a voice says from behind him. 

Surprised, Kiyoomi turns around to see who the voice belongs to. On one of the windows, a guy with dark brown hair parted in the middle with the ends curling upward has his elbow propped on the windowsill, his chin resting on his palm, looking bored. He has his index finger pointing at him in the backyard. Kiyoomi thinks he saw amusement in them and a menacing grin but then again, he's drunk. He almost drops Tsumu? He supposes. 

A second person arrives behind the male, this one looks familiar. He has grey hair and an unamused bitch face. The new guy squints at Kiyoomi and disappears from behind, only to reappear at the door that leads to the back. He nears Kiyoomi, "Can ya give me my brother back?" 

Kiyoomi blinks a few times, processing his words. He looks back to the guy at the window and he just looks back at Kiyoomi with a smirk. "What?" he asks dumbly. 

"My brother, that 161.5 pounds of drunk asshole in yer arms?" He asks raising an eyebrow.

Kiyoomi looks down on to the blonde passed out in his hold, snoring lightly. He feels his heart flutter. He looks back at the grey haired man. Then it registers in his worn out college burnt brain, that's why he looks familiar. They have the same face. He wordlessly hands over the sleeping body, he instantly misses the warmth. 

"Thanks." the grey haired male said, throwing the blonde on his shoulder like a sack of rice. "Sorry about 'im. He gets shitfaced when he's this drunk."

He blinks a few times before shaking his head. "No. It's fine."

"Thanks for not killin 'im." he says then mumbles, "s'alright if you did too." He turns around and nods at Kiyoomi, with his turn, Tsumu hits his head on some kind of pillar structure, he grunts, waking up. But the grey haired Tsumu doesn't even reacts, he continues to make his way into the house, his stirs, straightening his back from over his shoulder and hitting his head on the door frame before they completely disappear into the party inside. A series of curses and "I'll kill ya Samu" could be heard from where Kiyoomi is. He turns around and looks at the window, the dark haired man with sharp smudged eyeliner gone.

Kiyoomi looks at his hand. He clenches his fist and opens. Strange. He didn't mind holding that Tsumu guy. Kiyoomi knows little to nothing about him, besides the fact that he's making making something twist inside Kiyoomi and that he's insanely attractive. He didn't mind having him in his hold. In his norms, he wouldn't have been so comfortable with touching strangers, even his friends at bad days, but this. Him. It's different. Then again, Kiyoomi's drunk.

He sighs, and starts walking to the front, his shoves his hands deeper in his pockets. Looking at the moon, he walks under its light. 

He runs back to the backyard. Komori. He forgot Komori. 

* * *

"And then Iwa-chan did that." the brunette giggles. "I'm not a slut but who knows?"

"You literally just told us you want your precious Iwa-chan" Kenma imitates Oikawa's voice, drawing out the syllables, "to call you his little slut." He ends with a deadpan look. The whole room erupts in laughter.

The afternoon after the party, Oikawa, Kenma, Akaashi, and Hinata were all on Atsumu's bed, a usual thing for the five of them. They usually meet up after the party to exchange stories of the party or what they remember at the least.

Oikawa gasps, putting his hand over his chest, his usual dramatics. "As if you didn't get on with it with Kuroo in one of the rooms at the frat house!" 

Kenma raises his brows at Oikawa, then looks at Akaashi, after locking eyes. "At least I'm fucking my boyfriend."

Akaashi groans, covering his face with his hands. "Stooop."

The room is filled with laughter once more. Atsumu opens his mouth, "Really Aka-kun? You and Bokkun?"

Grabbing a pillow, Akaashi buries his face. "Please stop. I will not hesitate to sell your bodies off to the science department."

After a few giggles, Atsumu sighs and stares out the window. Hinata notices Atsumu in a daze. "Are you okay Tsumu?" The tangerine boy asks, concerned.

Atsumu looks at Hinata, then the rest of his friends, looking curious to concerned. "'m fine Shoyo-kun. It's just-" he sighs. He looks at them with stars in his eyes, "I keep seein this mop of curly hair in my head." Covering his face and grunting, "He looked like a Greek God." Then flings himself on Oikawa's lap, not noticing the shared glances between Akaashi and the brunette, "and I told 'im I wanted my eggs fertilized!" 

Kenma falls off the bed laughing after being kicked by Shoyo guffawing, clutching his stomach and kicking around. Akaashi is red from laughing, he starts to tear up. Oikawa wheezes like a dolphin banging on a chimpanzee. 

Atsumu grunts "You guys are the worst." but laughs along them anyways. 

Kenma climb onto the bed with his elbow on the bed, his body still on the floor. "I can't believe you sai- woah what is that?"

"Is that an earthquake?" Hinata looks around and sees the bed shaking.

Akaashi stifens, "What is that?"

"No, that's just my vibrator. It randomly turns on and off."

They fall into another pit of laughter, Kenma slips off the bed rolling on the floor. Akaashi tries to save him but ends up on the floor beside him. Hinata is sprawled on the bed, Oikawa snort laughs, its ugly. Atsumu loves them.

* * *

"Kiyomi?" Motoya chases his cousin across their room. "Kiyoomi!"

"No." Kiyoomi hisses and speed walks out of the room only to be followed out by Motoya. 

"Where are you going?" the brunette demands.

"I need to get some air." glaring at his cousin.

"But there's air here!" Komori throws his hands up, gesturing wildly.

"I don't want your air!" Kiyoomi barks back.

"What's wrong with my air?!" he screams back but the door to their shared door slams shut. 

Komori woke up that day with cold burnt toast and pure lemon juice as his breakfast. He can't seem to put his finger on what made his cousin so upset at him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Komori, anyways I love Atsumu's goofy gossip girls friend group. 
> 
> Gib me comments and kudos? Comments and Kudos pweesh?
> 
> SCREAM WITH ME ON [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Aribsiel)
> 
> Alsooooo check out my other on going fic! [Impractical Jackals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/30123420/chapters/74202747)
> 
> Thanks for reading ily

**Author's Note:**

> /knocks/ spare kudos and comments pls? Spare kudos and comments pls?


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